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Never the same againPlease, don't take away the darkness,
don't shatter my dreams, the only light.
When everything seems to be broken,
they will be my only comfort.
You won't understand, I know,
but please stand by me
and I promise, I'll be there
in your darkest hours, too.
Kindness will heal the heart,
but the soul can never be repaired.
Like a paper with my name on it
that you scrambled and threw away.
When you pick it up again,
it will never be the same.
And so will I.
BrokenI know I can't take back my words
but now I don't even try.
Stop saying that it hurts
and stop questioning how and why.
Explanations aren't simple
and with all these flaws I fight
it's so hard to ever get well,
even harder to shine bright.
But even if I said I'm sorry,
you would hate me even more.
And even if I said don't worry,
you won't listen anymore.
I know that I have changed
but we can't stay kids forever
and I know it might be strange
but I don't wanna grow up ever.
'Cause all that's waiting is more trouble
and all that I want is to see
what lies beneath the subtle,
what is there to set us free.
So I'll tell you that I'm happy
even if I start to cry
'cause you're not supposed to worry
but you only see the lie.
FailureThey stand around me, everywhere.
They used to laugh but now they stare.
Anger, sadness in their hearts.
Hate me and my broken parts.
All their souls I broke to pieces
haunt me, blame me without ceases.
I see them when I'm all alone.
I see them as my heart breaks down.
All their fret, I can't ignore.
All this, I can't take no more.
I won't forgive, I won't forget!Rip my heart and break my leg
but you can never hurt me.
Put your rope around my neck
but you won't dare to hang me.
I'll be waving a white flag,
you'll just point and laugh
but you won't know about my lack,
you won't destroy my love.
Now don't kneel and start to beg
for I will not forgive you
'cause what you did behind my back
made me learn to hate you.
Perfect?Forgotten, rotten and misunderstood,
always tried the best you could,
but the best just wasn't good enough.
How could you possibly live,
when all they didn't give
was all you ever needed?
But who cares for what others think?
You put your own life on the brink
by hating everything you did.
So close your eyes from their flaws
and deny all those broken laws,
so they can be perfect still.
UnforgottenThese words are still haunting my mind,
I can't seem to get rid of them
'cause they're so true.
I never loved, I never felt,
never did I smile.
Loneliness filled my heart with void.
In these hours of hatred,
I still think of you.
I don't regret, but long.
I miss the joy you shared with me,
everything you gave.
But having nothing to give back,
how could I live in this nightmare?
LonerCan being alive alone make a loner happy?
Would you believe me,
if I told you I was dying?
Would you stop trying?
Please, look me in the eyes
and tell me all those well-known lies
about trust, about love
and everything I'm yet sick of.
And when you turn around full of shame,
again I'm the one to blame,
for my being, most of all,
will be the reason for my fall.
My last letter of loveMy last letter of love.
My beloved one so near,
still too far to embrace.
I reach for your hand,
touch the edges of fulfillment.
Do I regret?
one last breath
and I'll hold you tight!
No looking back now.
No chance of change.
One more breath: I smell the air!
One more step: I feel the pain!
One more blink: I can see it clearly now!
And with the last beat I am safe in your arms.
The DreamFinally I arrive, panting, though
the results now are really worth the go.
While the lights are coming near me and you
I'm still not sure if I should really do.
The lights fastening as well as my heart.
I take a step further back to start.
As I jump, feeling afraid but free,
I'm thinking, "Dear friend, finally I come to thee!"
Full of sweat, I wake up and rue
wishing it would have been true.
Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teeth
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
Txt Me L8r"Hey baby. <3"
"How are you?"
"Doing good. Just alright, though?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it."
(I'm nothing worth worrying about.)
"Alright, as long as you're sure "
"Of course. (:"
(The fear forc
Enoughyou used me, you know
took me by the heart and swung me around as if I were a rag doll
as if I couldn't feel anything
as if it didn't even matter if I did
but it hurt, my god did it hurt
it ripped at my chest and pulled at my skin
and I hurt, I hurt so bad
but at least I knew that I loved.
I knew that I loved you enough
because it broke open my insides until they were a bleeding, broken mess
and my cheeks were stained with tears and makeup
my eyes were puffy and so, so dull
and you called me beautiful
you said I looked so beautiful like this
empty and vacant and battered
so I let you do it again and again and
you called me beautiful and once again I was putty in your hands
pliant and moldable and a copy, simply a copy
there was nothing left of me as a person
I was your rag doll
your prized possession of soft skin and skeleton
sitting cross legged and beautiful on your shelf
decorated with smatters of purples and blues and yellows
you called me beautiful
and no one else would ever
fragile.All you ever wanted
was to fix me the only way you knew how
and you didn't care if you hurt me
along the way
because you knew I needed it.
You bruised me and used me
but my words cut you deeper
than you'd ever let me know.
And there was nothing to stop you
from kissing my whitened knuckles
['til I cried]
just so I'd never try to let go.
They all say you broke me, but
I think I broke you first.
TogetherWe will be together.
I can hear your laughter,
like music chimes on the wind.
And your smile is radiance,
like the sun it warms me.
Your touch is soft and gentle,
fingers brush tears from my cheek.
And I taste your lips against mine,
sweeter than any chocolate.
But you become ash in my mouth,
and slip through my fingers like sand.
For you are a hope and a dream,
a lie my mind made and my heart believes.
Are you real or just a phantom,
a simple figment of my rumination?
Do you stare at the same stars in longing,
or are you like the void that separates them?
My heart says that you too are waiting,
for what cradles you in imagination.
We will be together.
Hold my hand.
Let me cry in your arms.
Talk about love and the future.
Tease me to cheer me up.
Read over my shoulder the poem I'm writing.
Speak to me.
You'll learn to hate me...
You'll learn to ignore me...
All of those things.
Save me from myself.
I'd ask you to do it.
You're not real. You're caught in my mind.
A character. A fake identity of a person I want to want me.
Thats why don't.
Because reality breaks me when you leave.
The Unknown AnswerWhy...
Why do I want to burst into tears?
Why can't I be happy for just awhile?
Why is it that a simple song, a single second of thinking and taking myself away from life
can break me?
I have no reason to be upset no matter what excuse I come up with.
Why do I keep lying to myself?
When I look at a picture of myself happy and smiling, I wonder how someone can look so realistic, so happy...
Yet when I have the second of happiness all of the feelings I've felt melt away like it never happened.
Why do I feel confused all the time?
Conversation with a blind personcan you see something?
Nothing. I never saw anything.
so it's all black?
No I cannot see black
because I do not know what black is.
I do not and I have never seen anything
so I have no knowledge of what anything is.
I wish I could see your face
Old FriendHello there again, my old friend
I didn't invite you, nor I ever do
How long will you stay?
Or will you ever go away?
Have you been here all along?
I thought you were gone,
Will you prove me wrong?
As long as you're here,
Don't come in too near
Keep a safe distance,
Find your own place
At the edge of the room
At least when I'm all alone,
I know I can find you at my home
Always by my side,
Willing to be my guide
Like an unsound ghost,
Providing company when I need it most
But I wish you would let me be,
And give back my eyes to see
I'm falling when with you,
How do I know what's true?
Perhaps I gave you an invitation,
And it wasn't just your manipulation
But never would I ask for such an intrusion,
That brings nothing more than empty seclusion
No matter how far I push you away,
I fear with me you will always stay
Whenever I think it's going to end,
There you are again, my old friend
Silently"You'll be okay," they told me
but said goodbye to the old me,
then left me to die,
and ignored every cry.
Tears that fall silently,
unseen, still violently
leave scars on my skin.
And with my voice so thin,
I know I will rue
now what I'm telling you.
So I will just smile
and say by the pile,
"I'm fine again."
But I'm screaming in pain!
Can't you hear me?
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More