[x]

Knife"It'd look far better drenched in blood,
dripping off its blade,
controlled by hate,
causing a deadly flood,"
I thought in pain
and put this knife into my vein.

Silently"You'll be okay," they told me
but said goodbye to the old me,

then left me to die,
and ignored every cry.

Tears that fall silently,
unseen, still violently

leave scars on my skin.
And with my voice so thin,

I know I will rue
now what I'm telling you.

So I will just smile
and say by the pile,

"I'm fine again."
But I'm screaming in pain!

Can't you hear me?

Dying for youSweet blood all over my body,
I feel like floating, down and down,
Wish this feeling would be steady,
I wanna fly, I wanna drown.
Someone opens the door,
They try to save me
But as I'm lying on the floor,
I try to get free.
I don't want to be helped,
I don't want to be strong,
I just want to be held
by my beloved one.

Empty LoveFirst time I saw your face
swept me off my feet,
you were so sweet
it made me gaze.

But then there was shame,
I felt the guilt
for the thoughts I built,
you'd never feel the same.

Eight years have past
and seeing you every day
made me realize I'm gay
'cause all the feelings still last.
It made me love you even more,
although every look of you
makes me feel erring and blue,
you're the one I live for.

PrayingI pray for flying,
I pray for release,
I pray for dying,
I pray for ease.
"Please, no more pain!"
I cry up high,
but I dry in vain,
dreams are never nigh.

HomeAs the darkness soothes me,
I will cry, I will fall,
As the rain embraces me,
I will lie and I will crawl.
As the melodie inspires me,
all the sorrows left behind,
I will try for killing me,
take this step with no rewind.

And as I'm lying here, gone,
my insanity has become far too real,
I realize that I don't miss anyone,
but still I don't know how I feel.
In my darkest dreams I'd missed,
all that I've now left be gone,
once been loved and once been hissed,
and finally returned at home.

BrokenI know I can't take back my words
but now I don't even try.
Stop saying that it hurts
and stop questioning how and why.

Explanations aren't simple
and with all these flaws I fight
it's so hard to ever get well,
even harder to shine bright.

But even if I said I'm sorry,
you would hate me even more.
And even if I said don't worry,
you won't listen anymore.

I know that I have changed
but we can't stay kids forever
and I know it might be strange
but I don't wanna grow up ever.

'Cause all that's waiting is more trouble
and all that I want is to see
what lies beneath the subtle,
what is there to set us free.

So I'll tell you that I'm happy
eve

DoveAll the things I did today
make no sense in any way,
all the things I tore apart
were yet broken at the start,
all the worst dreams, scaring me,
have now turned to reality
'cause all the things I did so wrong
have never made me any strong.

Yet a part of me is struggling,
still longing for life and love
as I climb to the roof
to follow the dove.

Is this real?Is it odd to be burning,
so cold inside?
Is it foolish to be turning
the wrong to right?
Am I right to be learning
from all my mistakes?
Is this real? Am I earning
all that it takes?

DisabilityUnloved by them all
as I stumble till I fall,
they all watching still,
their eyes empty, with no dreams, no will,
keeping them shut from the pain,
denying the coldness in vain.
From time to time, that's what I do,
I keep myself shut from feelings, from you,
I wouldn't call it naivety,
but it surely is some kind of disability.

Lost PainYou're the rainbow in my grey world,
still my pain is left unheard
like crying children left behind
cause all the darkness made me blind.
Endless dreams without the truth
make me curious about a proof,
these endless streets seem so surreal,
they're wounds no one can heal.

DoomI know I have to be gone
but I stay as I'm terrified,
Around me, I don't see anyone
but sense them haunt as I hide.
These creatures unseen and strong
will tear us all apart,
It's apocalypse, I knew all along
and now they come to crush my heart.
Finally, I can run from this fray,
cold sweat all over my face,
on this ruined earth, I cannot stay
but I don't know any other place.

HateMirror, Mirror, on the wall
What causes hate throughout all?

So much destruction
Spread because of a little thought
A thought of hate and disgust

Why do you taunt your victim?
Why do you make them that way?

Is it because people tell you too?
Is it because it's natural?
Is it because your feelings are true?

How do you know this?
How do you know what is true?
How do you know what it is you feel?

Did they hurt you?
Did they kill your loved ones?
Did they get on your nerves?

Think before you harm
Think before you taunt
Think before you hate

Don't drive yourself insane
Don't drive others to cry
Don't drive the world to hate

M

My DepressionI live... but I am not alive.

I have emotions... but I do not feel.

I exist... but make no difference in the world.

My lungs, they fill with oxygen... But I cannot breathe.

I sleep... but never rest.

I smile... but I am not happy.

I have friends, and lots of family... but I am close to no one.

I am in a room full of people... but I am lonely.

I have goals... but lack the motivation to even try.

I am taken care of... but never loved.

I cut my skin and bleed... but still I find no relief.

This is my depression.

I go through motions.

Nothing helps.

I am not okay.

But still I pretend.

This is my depression.

It has no end.

My li

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The DreamFinally I arrive, panting, though
the results now are really worth the go.

While the lights are coming near me and you
I'm still not sure if I should really do.

The lights fastening as well as my heart.
I take a step further back to start.

As I jump, feeling afraid but free,
I'm thinking, "Dear friend, finally I come to thee!"

Full of sweat, I wake up and rue
wishing it would have been true.

MadWhat if I told you that I'm mad?
At times I know it's the only way out.
You finally love me, understand me,
but why don't you freak out?

Killing you was a bad idea,
killing me was even worse.
Death is still no peace for me.
Tell me, please, is this a curse?

Madness, Sadness, Insanity and BloodMadness can't leave me my peace
as long as I'm still breathing,
it will rip and shoot and hiss
as long as I'm still living.

Sadness will not go away
No matter what I break.
Sadness can't just cross my way
and leave what it would take.

Insanity is all I know
and everything I'll ever see.
I'm dying, rocking to and fro,
wondering how I shall flee.

All this blood is gladly flowing,
all this blood I'm drowning in,
while this feeling's steady growing
that I lived in hate and sin.

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Submitted: July 7, 2012
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I'm sorry

by ~AlilliceMFC, Jul 7, 2012, 6:32:29 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

No more words left to say here,
I feel numb, guilty, unclear,
No one with me to ease the pain,
No end, no recovery to gain,
All my wishes, the darkest dream,
My whole mind is filled with steam.
Happiness is what they see,
It's darkness what's inside of me,
"I'm happy," is what they hear me tell,
"I'm sorry," is what I want to yell.